It's A Pirates Death For My Fetus

Two cute girls, the thin and feisty Rebecca and the buxom blond Whitney, wheel suitcases down a dorm room hall and knock on room #271. The girls face each other, smile, then look back to the door, "Spring break!"

A haggard looking, unwashed brunette named Alyssa answers the door rubbing her eyes. "Hi ladies. I don't think I should go"

Whitney immediately chimes in, "You don't think you should go?!! You are 20 years old, you won't have that sweet bod for-ev-er."

"Yeah Alyssa. We like totally need to get wasted and screw in Cabo!" Rebecca wisely adds.

"I know girls, but that is the thing... I am pregnant."

"You are what?!!" Rebecca stammers back shocked, her suitcase falls on its side.

Alyssa looks to the floor, "It gets worse..."

Alyssa invites the girls in. The dorm room is a mess, empty diet coke cans, clothes everywhere, used pregnancy tests litter the floor in front of the bathroom. Alyssa continues, "The father... He's my cousin… My cousin Antonino."

"Oh my god! The fat one? From Palermo?!!" Rebecca recoils in disgust.

Whitney perks up, "All is not lost ladies. We can still have a great spring break, cuz now we are taking- Da dun da daah! A cruise!"

Rebecca's demeanor does a total 180, "Of course! A Cruise!!!" Alyssa seems to understand as well and joy spreads across her face.

The girls jump up and down clapping their hands and shout in unison, "ABORTION TRIP!!!"

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In case Jimmy doesn't work out.

It's starting to look like NBC wants Jimmy Fallon to take over Conan O'Brien's show in two years. The only problem is Jimmy Fallon is a huge talent and in two years his movie career will probably take off.

Don't worry NBC if this happens we here at The Incredible Mr. Limpet have your back. We've composed a list of other possible hosts that match Jimmy's immense talent.

Click read more to see the list.







1. THE ROTTING CORPSE OF JOHNNY CARSON We understand that watching a corpse rot into nothinginess isn't really that funny but it still smells better than Jimmy looking straight into the camera and laughing at his own jokes.



2. THIS DUCK Look at it! It has four feet! That's kind of disgusting. Wouldn't you tune in every night to just see how it walks around? And you know this thing could swim faster than a mother fucker and that's just about as entertaining as Jimmy doing a Boston accent with Rachel Dratch.



3. HORATIO SANZ We really like Horatio. Did you see Boat Trip? Totally underrated.

Well, there you have it NBC. I hope this helps you guys out.

Got any suggesstions for NBC? Feel free to leave it the comments section

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