Vegas! Set Phasers to Fun!

This weekend two members of the Limpet family set out on a spur of the moment field trip to America's bacchanalian capital. You know what we're talking about. Vegas, baby. What delightfully grownup and sinful good times awaited us there? Swimming in an ocean of carnal delight, us Limpet boys did what any red blooded man would do. We went to The Official Star Trek Convention at the Las Vegas Hilton (brought to you by the people at Creation Entertainment). That's right, those Limpet boys did the unthinkable again and crashed Vegas's most exclusive party.

I lack the eloquence to sum up the experience, so I'll borrow a quotation to express my thoughts:

"... a dream that became a reality and spread throughout the stars" -- Captain James T. Kirk (Star Trek T.O.S. Episode #69, Whom Gods Destroy)"

Take a moment to wipe that tear from your eye on account of the beauty of Kirk's words. This event was better than Brazilian Carnival, Halloween, Christmas and Take Your Daughter to Work Day all rolled into one.


How awesome was it? Well, one bespectacled nerd fan put it best when he said, "These have been the best three days of my life." Not for a second do I doubt that claim.

Hats Bagelman wishes he was Klingon. He also wishes he had 40 bucks to buy this prop knife.
The wardrobe of choice was a Star Trek uniform top, fanny pack, ill fitting jeans and sandals worn with socks. In other words, for the first time ever, someone from Limpet was over dressed. But what these people lacked in outer beauty, they made up for in sheer enthusiasm. They're the fat girl who refuses to let life get her down, the retarded kid who celebrates his "specialness," the drunk hobo who'll let you punch him in the face for a dollar. Misfits, all, refusing to conform to society's rigid standards of normalcy.

We arrived on the final day of the four day event, but like Vanessa Williams promised, the best was indeed saved for last. That's because both Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner took the stage stealing our hearts in the process.

Spock is only half human, but he's completely in love with Kirk.
Ok, truth be told, Nimoy was a lot of fun (he wore a "#1 Vulcan" T-shirt), but Shatner is a senile bore. Both myself and Hats fell asleep at different points during his old man tyrade.

And since this whole thing took place at the Hilton, we took the chance to go on the Star Trek Experience. The experience begins when you fork over 45 bucks, then walk through the "museum" which is just a really long hallway on the way to two rides that don't justify the price tag. But if you're going to do this sort of thing, you should do it right, dammit. So yeah, no regrets. If you don't believe me, just look at the photos.


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

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How To Be Cool

Mr. Feelings fields lots of letters from teenagers going through their formative years. I'm gonna hit the "tweeners" with a bit of knowledge. In this whirligig world we live in, you've got influence being pushed on you from all kinds of crazy people. And I bet there's nothing you would love more than to be one of the "cool kids." So what makes you cool? I'll tell you what worked for me.




Find a hobby. For me, it was scale modeling. It gave me something to discuss at mixed functions with others my age. A girl would ask me why I had paint under my finger nails, and I could tell her it was because I was working on a detailed replica of the Slave-1. Of course she had no idea what that meant, but it allowed me to take the lead in the conversation.

Don't be afraid to venture outside your sphere of influence. I loved Star Wars, but some of my best friends turned out to be Star Trek fans. Blaspheme! I know, but if I had stuck to my sworn allegiance to George Lucas, I would have missed out on three separate Star Trek conventions, each with it's own unique set of memories. I got soooo many complements on my ILM T-shirt. A huge confidence boost. Which leads me to my next point:

Clothes matter. I used to go through the Lucas Arts catalog once a year with my mother and pick out three new T-shirts for the school year. I had my own unique style. Between those T's and my trips to Ross for slacks, I always looked my best.


Practice good hygiene. Deodorant and hair gel should be the cornerstone of every boy wanting to look his Sunday best. Carry a comb in your back pocket for emergencies such as a tricky cowlick.



Last, study hard. Work like your mom is a teacher at your school, and always looking over your shoulder, constantly watching, talking to your teachers, giving you hugs in the hallway. She loves you; that's why she smothers you. You can't talk to girls. You're too busy anyway, what with the model building and all. Your mom is your best friend. Don't cry. They can see you. They can all see you. See you and your shame. You'll never be cool now. Never, ever.

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