Thursday, March 1, 2007

How To Be Cool

Mr. Feelings fields lots of letters from teenagers going through their formative years. I'm gonna hit the "tweeners" with a bit of knowledge. In this whirligig world we live in, you've got influence being pushed on you from all kinds of crazy people. And I bet there's nothing you would love more than to be one of the "cool kids." So what makes you cool? I'll tell you what worked for me.

Find a hobby. For me, it was scale modeling. It gave me something to discuss at mixed functions with others my age. A girl would ask me why I had paint under my finger nails, and I could tell her it was because I was working on a detailed replica of the Slave-1. Of course she had no idea what that meant, but it allowed me to take the lead in the conversation.

Don't be afraid to venture outside your sphere of influence. I loved Star Wars, but some of my best friends turned out to be Star Trek fans. Blaspheme! I know, but if I had stuck to my sworn allegiance to George Lucas, I would have missed out on three separate Star Trek conventions, each with it's own unique set of memories. I got soooo many complements on my ILM T-shirt. A huge confidence boost. Which leads me to my next point:

Clothes matter. I used to go through the Lucas Arts catalog once a year with my mother and pick out three new T-shirts for the school year. I had my own unique style. Between those T's and my trips to Ross for slacks, I always looked my best.

Practice good hygiene. Deodorant and hair gel should be the cornerstone of every boy wanting to look his Sunday best. Carry a comb in your back pocket for emergencies such as a tricky cowlick.

Last, study hard. Work like your mom is a teacher at your school, and always looking over your shoulder, constantly watching, talking to your teachers, giving you hugs in the hallway. She loves you; that's why she smothers you. You can't talk to girls. You're too busy anyway, what with the model building and all. Your mom is your best friend. Don't cry. They can see you. They can all see you. See you and your shame. You'll never be cool now. Never, ever.

1 comment:

Hats Bagelman said...

follow this advice kids. Mr. Feelings is the coolest person I know.