What the hell happened to us?

So if you're here reading this blog, I'm looking at you Micki, Gridiron Goddess, and you perverts out there in China still googling near naked pictures of Natalie Imbruglia, you may be wondering what happened to all the hilarious posts Mr. Feelings put up (and the mediocre ones the rest of us produced) Well, worry no longer friends those questions are about to be answered.

Fatty Arbuckle: Fatty after reading about both the Lizard and Shark Jesus' has been on a spiritual mission seaking out all creatures born of a virgin birth and has spent a large portion of his family fortune buying up these chosen ones and was last spotted on a small row boat in the Dead Sea waiting for his chance to reach the heavens.

Jerk Stupidneck: After the Donald supposedly won his ongoing feud with Rosie O'Donnell, Mr. Stupidneck has lost his way. Without the Donald consistantly in the news spouting off stupid insults Jerk has been locked up in his room eating ice cream, listening to Tony Robbins tapes, and cursing the name Sparkenickle.

10lb Moustache: The Moustache is in Chicago for the Pitchfork festival. He still thinks he's cooler than the rest of us, and he's probably right.

Bling Crosby Jr.: Bling is back behind bars after stalking Shia LaBeouf. Bling will be up for parole in 90 days and unless he shanks a prison guard again it's looking like he'll get out.

Nacho Friendly: Although he is our most prolific poster Nacho has gone all Judas on us and started another blog. Let us completely ignore it for he doesn't even have the decency to link to us. Bastard.

Mr. Feelings: Mr. Feelings has been too busy with "work" and "his girlfriend" to post for us anymore. He was going to have something beautiful about his erotic literature collection but as of press time he was too busy making out.

Hats Bagelman: And as for me dear reader well I no longer live with the roommate and I no longer have my crappy job so I'm really at a loss for topics, but worry not friends something is bound to piss me off soon and I guarantee I'll be back blogging like before (and for that I apologize).