Showing posts with label King of Queens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label King of Queens. Show all posts

Friday, February 23, 2007

Mr. Feelings, Out of Rehab


Addiction is no laughing matter. Mr. Feelings should know. After the war (the great one) I traveled deep into Asia seeking spiritual guidance from Sensei Zyi. Instead I wound up in a brothel, turning tricks by day to feed my opium addiction at night.

That said, Mr. Feelings feels for Britney. Her quest for enlightenment is just beginning. Rehab was step one. Checking out, step two. Checking back in, step three
. Checking back out, step four. Checking back in though... bad move. Step five, the way it was taught to me, involves fasting, prayer, and rough sex with Sir Richard Branson in a hot air balloon. Step six, I stalked Kevin James. Step seven, lunch at Clafoutis. Step eight, I slept in, then called in sick to work. Step nine has been going on for six years... I hate my life.

The point being, I really wanted to work in a photo of Britney spears because to me she looks like one of those guys you see at the Scottish Highland Games.
Like she should be wearing a kilt and throwing a telephone pole end over end. Sorry to waste your time. Mr. Feeling's next emotional breakthrough will be better thought out.

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Friday, February 16, 2007

Mr. Feelings Feels For You!

Part of feeling is feeling angry. I'm angry for you! In the tradition of Fight Back with David Horowitz I'm gonna fight the good fight for Joe Consumer. My first target is Habitat for Humanity.

I don't know what kind of business they are, but one look at their henchman, and you know they are no good.
Quick note about President Carter, when he's not posing as a humanitarian, he's busy peddling his Japanese up-skirt porn (Mr. Carter's Panstu Suprise Show).

Long story short, Mr. Carter, don't call people when they're watching King of Queens and then demand they pay you cash just to end the phone call. That's not charity. That's harassment.

Mr. Feelings feels angry!

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