Free Ice Lollies For Us All!

I was on my way to the chemist shop when I heard the good news. We're big in England. Well we love you too! Check out our other posts tailor made for your strange culture (Ok, it's just the one post, but we're trying).

In celebration, here's a list of things we adore about you:






1 - Bob Hoskins
We call him sex in a sweater. On cold nights we dream about snuggling up next to him as he whispers sweet nothings in our ear. "Limpet, my love, be a dear and get me another pint." And of course we would. He's Bob Hoskins!







2 - Muesli
Wonderful breakfast food. Way better than what we eat stateside.







3 - Dark Shadows
More like Dork Shadows. Just kidding. Our love for Lara Parker burns with a white hot intensity. If we ever lose our virginity, it will be to her.






4 - The Falklands War
We love wars here at The Incredible Mr. Limpet. In fact, we're members of over a dozen different recreation societies, but the Falklands has always been our favorite. Just ask Hats Bagelman; he does the most amazing Prince Andrew, Duke of York.




5 - The British East India Company
For taming the savages and cornering the opium market, you earn our respect.

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Mr. Feelings, Out of Rehab

Addiction is no laughing matter. Mr. Feelings should know. After the war (the great one) I traveled deep into Asia seeking spiritual guidance from Sensei Zyi. Instead I wound up in a brothel, turning tricks by day to feed my opium addiction at night.

That said, Mr. Feelings feels for Britney. Her quest for enlightenment is just beginning. Rehab was step one. Checking out, step two. Checking back in, step three. Checking back out, step four. Checking back in though... bad move. Step five, the way it was taught to me, involves fasting, prayer, and rough sex with Sir Richard Branson in a hot air balloon. Step six, I stalked Kevin James. Step seven, lunch at Clafoutis. Step eight, I slept in, then called in sick to work. Step nine has been going on for six years... I hate my life.

The point being, I really wanted to work in a photo of Britney spears because to me she looks like one of those guys you see at the Scottish Highland Games.Like she should be wearing a kilt and throwing a telephone pole end over end. Sorry to waste your time. Mr. Feeling's next emotional breakthrough will be better thought out.

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