Hello everyone in Limpet-Land! I know I've been away for a while and for that I apologize. (Well, if you've read my posts maybe you should be thanking me for being gone so long).
Anyway, I thought I'd start a new running feature and for this one I'm gonna need you're help. I'm trying to get fired from my job.
Why don't I just quit? The answer is simple. Thanks to California law you can't just quit your job and file for unemployment. That privilege is reserved for people lucky enough to be laid off or fired, and thanks to this poor economic environment I can't afford to just quit my job and live a life without income (goddamn Cobb salad addiction).
Okay so here's the deal for the past week I've been at work for a total of four hours. The problem is my fake sickness can't last forever. Today (Wednesday) is the last day I can milk "my cold" for work absences. So this is where I turn to you, the blogosphere, for help. I need more excuses to miss work, or just ideas as to what I can do to drive my employers nuts.
Some of the ideas I've been tossing around include...Taking time off to mourn the death of beloved Evangelist Jerry Falwell...Claiming that one of my Cuban relatives just defected...or admitting to the Zodiac killings and I have to be in San Francisco for questioning.
So if you guys have any ideas please put them in the comments section. I'm serious about this. Also I kinda want to string this out, basically to see how many stupid things I can get away with before they're finally fed up and fire me.