Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Work is Freedom, Sloth is Sin!


Russia is in crisis comrades! The population is in decline! There's only one thing for us to do! Have sex. Lots and lots of sex. Dirty stinky nasty sex. And you know what? Big Brother is here to help you out with that.

More after the jump...

The recent decline in the population in Ulyanovsk region of Russia has spawned a bit of a crisis in the eyes of it's governor, Sergei Morozov. Being the great guy that Sergei is, he's offering every couple the day off today in order for them to go home and do the nasty. But that's not all. If your baby is born on the national day you could receive cars, TVs or a whole smorgasborg of other prizes.

Last year's winners, won an SUV and when reached for comment said, "We could never get so many rubles to purchase car of choice. Now with new baby, we can make profit on black market and keep car. We make very happy couple and look to defend championship next season."

America, sadly, does not yet have a sex day, but rest assured dear viewer. We'll keep you updated on the push for congress to remedy this monstrosity.

5 comments:

Hats Bagelman said...

Wait they get a sex-day and we get nothing? Makes you think who truly lost the cold war.

Micki said...

Hats, what do you mean we get nothing?? The sequel to TRON is in the works as we speak!!

(And I bet they don't have a Russian Kid Nation, either.)

Mr. Feelings said...

You know why we don't have a "sex day" in the United States of America? Because when you kick as much ass as this nation, every mutha fuckin' day is sex day. Shit. I don't need Uncle Sam telling me when to do my thing. I just do it. USA! USA! USA!

Nacho Friendly said...

while me may not have a sex day, Hats & I were discussing how few emotions get "mongered" these days, and Hats said he was a "lovemongerer", so really, I guess every day in Hats's life is a 'sex day'....just without the consent.

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