How much to make a Japanese kid cry?

Hey dickfeet, it's everyone's favorite jerk back from his contract hold out. My new deal, while not 100% of what I demanded, does require that Bagelman fetch my slippers and play dead on command. I think I'm pretty much satisfied.

But enough about my lucrative wheelings and dealings, some of which may or may not have caused the sub prime mortgage crash, find out what the Japanese have been up to after the jump...


Now most of you don't know this, but one of my several illegitimate bastard children is a fan of sea life, and one time he conned me into some hippy bullshit where we get on some converted fishing trawler and go looking for the sea faring unemployed known as whales. That kids' mother is a worthless whore and it looks like the apple doesn't fall from the vagina that crapped him out. I wound up spending 8 hours on a floating bath tub that smelled like a sailor fresh out of Bangkok.

The Japanese have a better solution.

No better way to teach your kids about the birds and the bees than by tricking them into a peaceful whale watching tour which is actually a seminar on how to use technology to snare and slaughter slower, more docile creatures which lack opposable thumbs with the intent of throwing most of it away or making new and better dick pills out of ground up whale dong.

I told the little bastard we could go on another whale watching trip when we visit Yokohama. Daddy needs a new pack of dick pills.

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When the Moustache Fades, I Wonder, Will I Dream?

Hey folks, it's been awhile since your local neighborhood mustachioed fellow dropped a line. We men are in severe trouble and you ladies are in tremendous luck. The late great trend of replacing men is upon us and how will we fight back against this? With brute force and anger destroying all of it.

Follow me after the jump because this has gotten far beyond dildos...

In Japan there has been a new pillow developed that will replace all men. It's the man pillow. It's there, it's quiet, it's comfy, and it certainly doesn't roll over away from snuggling to snore loudly.

To top it off, the pillow also "keeps the body balanced" providing a good night's sleep that this humble blogger could never promise.

Junko Suzuki is quoted saying, "It keeps holding me all the way through. I think this is great because this does not betray me."

That's right you heart breakers....at a low low price of $80 this pillow has it all. Except, of course something another $80 will solve fairly easily.

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