Make Your Natural Tendencies Pay

Phase One: Complete

Greg Oden, as you may have heard, will be sitting this one out for the remainder of the 2007-8 season. Which, I guess, makes it a good thing there's only eighty-two games left. But is there more to it than meets the eye?

I've got a sneaking suspicion this is all part of an elaborate plan set in motion by Mr. Oden to abandon his professional sports career and embrace the life he's always wanted: periodontics.

The greatest cinematic dentist in history, after the jump.


Greg Oden's been expressing his deep-seeded desire to rinse and repeat since he's been in the public eye. This whole microfracture surgery business is the perfect cover. Whose gonna question it when he hobbles back at "50%" and never achieves the potential we all forced upon him? Durant's gonna have the more illustrious career anyway, why not embrace the life you love when you're young, it would appear all it takes its a pink unitard thingie?

If Oden wants to fade into obscurity, I'll allow it. We got so many future All-Stars out of this draft, we sent one of the the Bucks. What's it to us if we lose one of 'em? Besides, this gives me the chance to say asinine things like "Oden's the new Darko."

And now, cinema's finest dentist: