Dreamboat Willy: The Godfather

It's true, British sex symbol and possible future king of England; Prince William of Wales will soon be Godfather to the child of than non other than Baby Spice. Why would BS choose young William as guardian to her as yet unborn child? If his being rich and royalty to boot is not enough reason, he has many hidden talents and secret abilities that make him a force to be reckoned with.

The Prince is the president of the English Football Association, Vice Royal Patron of the Welsh Rugby Union, in the British Royal Navy he is both Commodore-in-Chief of Scotland and Commodore-in-Chief of Submarines. Few people realize how such a young man is capable of such great achievement. Is it merely because of the power he wields through his immense wealth and privilege? In a word, yes.


In June of 1991 Prince William was struck in the forehead with a golf club by a careless or highly deranged schoolmate (details of the accident have never been fully revealed to the public). Prince W. suffered a depressed fracture of the skull and was forced to undergo emergency surgery. The Royal Family, with the help of British intelligence agencies and the world’s top scientists used this seemingly tragic situation as an opportunity to give the young boy a few “upgrades.” Through hours of top secret medical procedures ‘Wombat’ was given increased strength, higher intelligence and memory, improved reflexes, incredible gazelle-like leaping ability, his now infamous laser eyes, and of course he was made to be left handed so as to better operate a British standard transmission vehicle.

When a man with the power and abilities of Prince William says he wants to be the guardian of your child, you just don’t say no.