Wednesday, April 25, 2007

It's A Pirates Death For My Fetus


Two cute girls, the thin and feisty Rebecca and the buxom blond Whitney, wheel suitcases down a dorm room hall and knock on room #271. The girls face each other, smile, then look back to the door, "Spring break!"


A haggard looking, unwashed brunette named Alyssa answers the door rubbing her eyes. "Hi ladies. I don't think I should go"


Whitney immediately chimes in, "You don't think you should go?!! You are 20 years old, you won't have that sweet bod for-ev-er."


"Yeah Alyssa. We like totally need to get wasted and screw in Cabo!" Rebecca wisely adds.


"I know girls, but that is the thing... I am pregnant."


"You are what?!!" Rebecca stammers back shocked, her suitcase falls on its side.


Alyssa looks to the floor, "It gets worse..."


Alyssa invites the girls in. The dorm room is a mess, empty diet coke cans, clothes everywhere, used pregnancy tests litter the floor in front of the bathroom. Alyssa continues, "The father... He's my cousin… My cousin Antonino."

"Oh my god! The fat one? From Palermo?!!" Rebecca recoils in disgust.

Whitney perks up, "All is not lost ladies. We can still have a great spring break, cuz now we are taking- Da dun da daah! A cruise!"

Rebecca's demeanor does a total 180, "Of course! A Cruise!!!" Alyssa seems to understand as well and joy spreads across her face.

The girls jump up and down clapping their hands and shout in unison, "ABORTION TRIP!!!"

5 comments:

Hats Bagelman said...

this whole thing offends me. Why didn't they even think about the adoption cruise.

Jerk Stupidneck said...

I have an Abortion Cruise capitol one card with enough miles to cover me if the situation ever arises. What's in my wallet? Partial birth abortion.

Nacho Friendly said...

You know, you see an article, and make a few jokes, picking the lowest-hanging fruit in hyperlink-iChat form to a few friends...but until you see the full potential realized, you don't understand how hilarious something like an abortion cruise can be.

Fatty Arbuckle said...

I have had some confused parties coming to me after reading this post. May I make a small reminder to all blog readers that they should click on every link embeded in a blog. Even if you don't read the whole link (maybe just take a look then hit the back button)at least check it out or you may not be fully understanding the post. That is all.

Remember that I love you,
Fatty A.

likwid said...

YARRRRRRRRRRR
THERE BE FETUSES IN THE BILGE!
YARRR