Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Bill Simmons Stay Away From My Basketball Team


Before I get too far into this post I must apologize for what I'm going to say. Bashing Bill Simmons in a blog is beating the deadest of dead horses. But after reading his college basketball blog the other day I found something that was very alarming, Bill Simmons is joining the UCLA bandwagon.

Follow me after the jump for my open letter to The Sports Guy.

Dear Mr. Simmons,

I've been an avid fan of your columns for years now. I appreciate your unique takes on the NFL, MLB, and NBA. I don't think that anyone can really argue that you paved the way for the modern sports blog. But as much good as you have brought the sports world there have been some negatives, most notably you have really caused a lot of people to hate the teams you cheer for.

Like Lenny the retarded ranch hand in "Of Mice and Men" you love things so much that you end up ruining them for everyone else. That's why I fear your new found love of my favorite college team, the UCLA Bruins.

I understand their appeal. I mean they recently made their second straight trip to the Final Four and next year they have super recruit Kevin Love coming to Westwood. That's why now more than ever we don't need annoying man-boy love coming from the World Wide Leader souring everyone on this team.

So please Bill I beg of you turn your allegiances elsewhere. Look if you end up cheering for Kansas I promise I won't complain if you compare every player to characters from the "Karate Kid" in fact I'll make you this promise: if you choose a different basketball team next year I will write a post stating what a great writer/human being you are.

Please Mr. Simmons for me?

Hats Bagelman.