Tuesday, February 20, 2007

So you want to know more abut Jerk Stupidneck?

The Stupidneck Era is upon us and it makes the dawning of the Bronze Age look like your mother's Dr. Scholl's inserts. Some of you may be asking yourself, "Self, who is this Jerk Stupidneck and how can I protect my heart from his musky charm?"

Well, nothing can save you from the musk's power, but I'm about to slap your half-retarded brains with all you need to know about The 'Neck.

Firstly, never call me The 'Neck. You're not my Uncle and this is not a secluded ranch in Montana where I once roamed free on the back of a clydesdale. I'd prefer you not call, but if you must then it's the whole thing. Jerk Stupidneck.

Secondly, remember at all times that I'm probably better than you. There's one person I look up to and that's this man right here. I may not mention it all the time, but you should know that I am a better person than you will ever be. "How does that even relate to your inane commentary on various news articles and bits of internet fancy?" you are asking yourself right now. I answer you with this - How the hell did I know what you were asking yourself? Because I'm always one step ahead of you. Dick.

Finally, I just want to welcome you to my blog and invite you bask in the glorious knowledge I choose to share with you, the unwashed masses. Just remember, I don't hate you, but I'd rather not be seen near you.


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