Friday, March 16, 2007

The Best of Wikipedia

Wikipedia Falsely Reports Sinbad's Death

Wikipedia giveth, and Wikipedia taketh. That's the cruel lesson learned in today's installment of The Best of Wikipedia. While every major news source has scooped us for the headline, not a single one of them has the smarts nor the courage to tackle the true story of Sinbad's Wikipedia page.

The truth about Sinbad after the jump...

Sinbad is a man of many faces and names. Sometimes spelled Sindbad, Sunpadh, and Sex-Bad, Sinbad got his start working entertainment when studying the Avesta at the Zoroastrian temple in Yazd. A disagreement between him and the greater body of faith led to his expulsion, which really is for the better since the Zoroastrian church went bankrupt after investing heavily in cold fusion in the 1980's.

A glimpse of the future offered by Zoroaster

Later, Sinbad joined the navy, where he sailed the seven seas. He wrote some crappy books about it under the horrible pen name, Sinbad the Sailor. It earned him mountains of cash, but he missed his true love... family appropriate ethnic comedy. Fortunately Bill Cosby was wise enough to cast him as the goofy coach Walter Oakes on the soft-core erotica series, A Different World. Sinbad shocked the nation with his casual nudity and open bisexuality as he courted and conquered then entire cast of the show. Despite critical praise, the show was a flop, and Sinbad was once again unemployed.

Sinbad's in-your-face sexuality was too much for American audiences

Then Jingle All the Way happened, and the world was never the same. For you see, Jingle All the Way opened a cosmic portal through which a prophet was delivered to the world.

The Prophet

The Prophet later wrote and edited Sinbad's Wikipedia page, where a typo misled the public to believe Sinbad had died of a heart attack. What The Prophet meant was, Sinbad will die of a heart attack. And pretty soon. The time and place are fuzzy, but we do know he dies with a raging boner.


Hats Bagelman said...

You forgot to mention his awesome cameo in 9 1/2 Weeks

Nacho Friendly said...

when I die, something better be raging.

Jerk Stupidneck said...

Watching A Different World with my parents was an awkward experience