Monday, March 12, 2007

Move over Barbaro, there's a new horse in town

Pictured is the World Record holder crying into his bucket of slop

And he is god damn 6 foot 7 inches tall to the shoulder!

Yeah Barbaro broke a leg. Big deal. This horse (if you're to believe the comments which follow the story) is being tortured by travelling the world to show off his world record size.

The comments range from Mike in Baltimore
We should pray for the horse and its speedy return to a more suitable environment.

To S. Sparkenickle from West Bumpgarten's
What a beautiful coat he has.

If I wasn't sure that that was a fake name and that West Bumpgarten couldn't possibly be the name of a city on the face of the Earth, I'd wager that S. Sparkenickle would like to do unholy things to our fair Radar. Probably wants to use his giant skin for his horsey suit he's been making for years, which explains the missing horses from East Bumpgarten. Sicko.

If you're S. Sparkenickle and you're reading this post, know this: If I ever see you I'm gonna break your filthy pervert hands you bastard.

And as a final thought- I had a cat I named Radar once. It peed on a rug and then ran away for a couple years before coming back. I'm not sure if the two are connected, but I'll throw it out there.

Note: The cat was of average size and set no world records

What the hell did you click the jump for. Nothing more to see here, Dopey.
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Nacho Friendly said...

The reason I clicked the jump was that I get up and nothing gets me down. You've got it tough? I've seen the toughest around. Can't you see me standing here, I got my back up against the record machine. Don't you see what I mean? What I mean?

Anonymous said...

Dear Jerk,

When I decide to spend my 1 - 2 minutes reading your posts, I expect a lot more in regards to making fun of people, ignorant comments, and generally being a stupid jerk. This post was much too nice. I'd like to see better (worse) from you next time.

That being said, please don't make fun of me.

Jerk Stupidneck said...

Dear pansy-ass "Anonymous",

Eat a dick. This thinly veiled attempt at protecting your horse mollesting friend in Wes... wait a second.

You're S. Sparkenickle aren't you? Well you listen up you dirty horse philanderer. I'm gonna buy a first class ticket to West Bumpgarten... better yet, I'll ask my pal Trump (T-Donnie as I call him) to lend me his gulf stream to come over there and beat you to a pulp before leaving you mangled by the cliffs of Dover.

I don't care if your dumb town is far from Dover... I'll drag your nancy-boy ass there just to prove a point and then I'll point and laugh.


Hats Bagelman said...

well let's be honest here Mr. Stupidneck you've never met D-Trump or whatever you call him. You took his Learning Annex class 3 years ago and he didn't show. Ever since you've been calling him and going to open casting calls to the apprentice. It's really sad.

On another note this post was far too nice. Come on ending it with a story about your old kitten, barf.

Anonymous said...

much better.

Anonymous said...

I'm S. Sparkenickle and I live in West Bumpgarten, USA. Maybe you could do a little research. We even have a post office. I own several horses and care for them in a professional manner. You are the sick a--hole.

If I was going to remove anyone's skin to make suit it would be yours. I could proably make two people costumes from your fat ass.

Leave me alone jerk!

Anonymous said...

I win cock breath!

West Bumpgarten, USA
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