Thursday, March 8, 2007

Cylon Made for Loving You Baby


The South Korean government is currently drawing up a charter that will set ethical guidelines to prevent humans from abusing robots. Humans from abusing robots? Is not the whole point of robots to be abused? Rosie the robot was nothing more than a slave to Mr. J and the gang. The Terminator was only obeying his evil computer overlord. C3PO was made to be a translator and R2D2 was for… What was R2D2 for? The point is: if I build a robot, I should be able to do whatever the hell I want with it.

"Imagine if some people treat androids as if the machines were their wives," Park Hye-Young of the {South Korean} ministry's robot team told the AFP news agency.

Treating a robot like your wife is probably the best idea in the history of ideas. Think of it, she will look lovely forever, she will do nothing all day except maintain the house and maybe a little grocery shopping, and when you get tired of her just shut her off and stick her in the closet. I have been treating a toaster as if she was my wife for years, is the South Korean government going to set up a charter for the ethical treatment of kitchen appliances? I certainly hope not.


A robot is a thing and should be treated as such. The South Koreans should set their sights on anyone who creates a robot which is self-aware or has feelings. Anyone who makes a robot that appears to have feelings or is able to beg for its own life is an asshole, and should be stopped. No one wants to see a robot cry, so don’t build him with tear ducts, problem solved.


I leave you with this quote from the man who invented robot ethics, Mr. Isaac Asimov:

“Stupid, stupid, stupid maltifunctions robot who won’t even make a simple orange juice! I hate robots!”

6 comments:

Jerk Stupidneck said...

I'm glad someone finally busted the lid off this robot argument. My roomba robot vacuum will continue to service me in any way I seem fit.

Mr. Feelings said...

You obviously didn't watch Small Wonder. That show spoke for robot rights everywhere. Also, Vicki was one hawt robot sex slave.

Kerrin said...

It's C3PO, you doof, not 3CPO. Learn your droids, man!

Fatty Arbuckle said...

Thanks for the catch Kerrin. I am glad to see we have nerds to keep track of sci-fi for me. I need all the help I can get.

Nacho Friendly said...

Anytime the argument about robot feelings comes up, I think back to someone special, someone who damn near raised me, considering how much time we spent together in my youth. He taught me the meaning of feelings, he taught me...how to laugh. His name, was Johnny 5

Hats Bagelman said...

what are these robots you speak of?