Friday, March 16, 2007

Some facts about S. "Steve" Sparkenickle, West Bumpgarten, USA

Artist's interpretation of one S. Sparkenickle

You probably remember my post from a few days back where I happened upon S. Sparkenickle hailing from West Bumpgarten, USA. Well Sparkenickle had a few choice words for me after I hit so close to home by calling him the Wild Bill - Wild Bill from Silence of the Lambs, not the famous wild west gunslinger - of the West Bumpgarten horse community.

Anonymous said...

I'm S. Sparkenickle and I live in West Bumpgarten, USA. Maybe you could do a little research. We even have a post office. I own several horses and care for them in a professional manner. You are the sick a--hole.

If I was going to remove anyone's skin to make suit it would be yours. I could proably make two people costumes from your fat ass.

Leave me alone jerk!

March 14, 2007 6:00 PM

Sounds like a paraphrase of "It puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again" to me.

Let's delve a little deeper into the twisted and disgusting mind of S. "Steve" Sparkenickle after the jump.

Sparkenickle begins his morning yoga routine around 3pm each day

Probably the creepiest thing about Sparkenickle is that you can google "S. Sparkenickle" you get a bunch of results. No... not articles talking about one, S. Sparkenickle, but rather links to various news story that S. Sparkenickle has decided to throw his idiotic 2 cents into via comments.

Here's a gem from in reference to a story about a mystery man some brittish bird saw on a train and launched a worldwide campaign to find him.
My gaydar is blinking bright on this one.....

- Steve Sparkenickle, West Bumpgarten, USA

I bet that mystery man on the british subway is really burning with rage from this mega burn!

Ok so far I've noticed a proclivity for reading and commenting on UK internet publications. Not sure what to make of that, but I am sure that this man is creepier than your Aunt Judith (that's a whole post in itself. your Aunt Judith is a real creepy bitch).

He had this to say on's Forums in regards to news that Britney Spears shaved her head.

I want to spread cream cheese all over that smooth head with a plastic spoon.

February 17, 2007 9:32 AM
Posted by: Steven Sparkenickle

Perhaps it's more than horses he's been skinning. Using cream cheese as a moisturizer so that when he peels the flesh back he is less likely to tear it and ruin his church clothes. Sick. You make me sick Sparkenickle.

But on top of all this... Sparkenickle is also a hack. Stealing lines from others to use in his internet commentary on his meteoric rise to the top of Nerd Mountain.

The worst mistake he ever made was stealing a bit from Phil Hendrie, who had a nationally syndicated radio show where he would host conversations between himself and one of many characters which he voiced all while infuriating callers from the audiences and provoking them to embarassing themselves 5 nights a week 3 hours a night. A brilliant satirist in my opinion - and you really don't need another one.

The reason I bring him up is because he had one character called Doug Dannger who would always preface every inane and absurd argument he made with "I'm a gay man and a gay journalist..." to somehow lend credibility to whatever Phil was trying to say through the character.

It's funny when Phil does it... but not when some lard lathered, internet recluse from West Bumpgarten takes it out out of context to conquer his nerd peers with internet commenting prowess.
As a gay man and journalist, I find this story very interesting. Since when did the pages need to be protected from those that are supposed to be protecting us? Now we are going to in act new procedures to protect the pages from members of congress. What is going on with this country? As a gay man and journalist, I don’t understand those that chase anyone under 18. The law is very clear and every gay man knows.

Posted by: Steve Sparkenickle | Oct 6, 2006 2:54:01 AM

So on top of all the deviant behavior... you're also lame. Bravo S. Sparkenickle. Bravo.

Seriously Phil Hendrie is pretty awesome. Check him out at


Hats Bagelman said...

may favorite part of that comment is that he mentions that West Bumpgarten has a post office.

Jerk Stupidneck said...

He knows where the post office is because he gets his fromaldehyde in bulk through US post

Nacho Friendly said...

The Incredible Mr Limpet, calling out internet trolls, one at a time. Your uppance hath come.

Fatty Arbuckle said...

I think Stupidneck is completely wrong on all points. Sparkelmarker seems like a lovely fellow who loves humans and animals. I bet I or anyone would enjoy his company, I also enjoy living.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I have had enough of you people. I'm going silent on you!

S. Sparkenickle
West Bumgarten, USA #1

ps: See you in hell!

S. Sparkenickle said...

I will let my webpage speak for me.

S. Sparkenickle
West Bumpgarten USA

Anonymous said...

Hey Nacho & Fatty!

Everytime I flush my toilet it runs past your Hollywood love nest.

S. Sparkenickle
West Bumpgarten USA

Fatty Arbuckle said...

Hey! How do you know where our love nest is?

Anonymous said...

I was on the open top van tour with my wife we took to see the Hollywood sign up close and they drove by your love hovel.

S. Sparkenickle
West Bumpgarten, USA #1

Fatty Arbuckle said...

Oh. Well that adds up. I was just curious.

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